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HAUTE QUOTE

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... [May. 31st, 2007|01:31 pm]
HAUTE QUOTE
iriswills
From a Jane Magazine interview with Zooey Deschanel:

Of course, in some L.A. circles, you'll get called quirky if you don't use your feminine wiles to your advantage. "I'm scared for young women, because we're not necessarily progressing. People think it's good to use sex as power. They think that's new. Flaunting your body, going around half-naked and being sexy to get your way—it's so missing the point," she says. "We're not even talking about the fact that women still don't have a strong enough role in running the country."
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... [Apr. 25th, 2007|11:55 pm]
HAUTE QUOTE
iriswills
“It’s a glorified welfare project,” said Sea Shepherd Captain Alex Cornelissen. “These sealers live on hand-outs from the government and they just simply don’t have the initiative to get an education and to find an alternative job. The government finds them markets for their obscene products, the government breaks the ice for them to kill the seals, the government intervenes to prevent protestors from documenting the slaughter, and the government rescues them when they get in trouble. They are like little boys torturing animals with encouragement from their parents. With continued government hand-outs they have little motivation to get a real job and to make a decent living.”

-some sea shepherd Captain...not Paul Watson this time (ahahaha, so I don't bother getting his name. Whatever, it's the words that matter...ahahaha!)
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(no subject) [Mar. 29th, 2007|12:52 am]
HAUTE QUOTE
ex_aj492
"Give me a pop-song, mate. Give me a fucking pop-song. Not only is it more fun, it's pretty fuckin' hard to write as well. You can bung in as many out-of-tune oboes as you want, but putting chords together so they sound pleasant isn't as simple as it might appear. It mightn't be the Sistine Chapel, but what is? Ollie fucking Olsen with his stupid feedback and cough mixture? The Jesus and Mary Chain, with their stupid feedback, and their stupid stage show with 800 powerful stupid lights and enough stupid dry ice to enhance their stupid stupidity up its own bullshit crappy teenage pretentious one dimensional dick witted puissant artistic enigma?

So ... what have you listened to for a good time that isn't, after all, a 'traditional' song? Still playing the Mike Oldfield records, huh? Still whipping Yessongs on for a good time? Wanna count on one hand how many people have fun at a Sonic Youth gig? I'm not supporting The Choirboys, old man, I'm just saying that the day some jumped up over-paid self-important post-modernist cocksucker puts his foot upon his Fairlight computer in the middle of his 47 minute opus The Silent Forgiveness Of The Pig-God and belts out the chords to Johnny B. Goode is the day I'll join you at the footlights of post-modernism.

Besides which, pop songs sell more."

- The TISM Guide to Little Aesthetics, explaining why they write pop songs, of all things.


WHY TISM IS THE GREATEST BAND IN THE WORLD:

- One tour was advertised as "Macbeth" and in small print "with supporting music by TISM". The concert opened with a university student group performing Macbeth. TISM only appeared on stage after the audience became bored with shouting obscenities at the actors. The actors continued performing Macbeth on stage during the performance.
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(no subject) [Mar. 28th, 2007|02:53 am]
HAUTE QUOTE
ex_aj492
"I know that the decisions that I made after college worked out. But at the time I didn’t know that they would. See college is not necessarily predictive of your future success. And it’s the kind of thing where the path that I chose obviously wouldn’t work for you. For one, you’re not very funny. "

- Jon Stewart, commencement speech to William and Mary College, Williamsburg, VA

"You see, in those days I was six feet four inches tall and I weighed 150 pounds. Recently, I had some structural engineers run those numbers into a computer model and, according to the computer, I collapsed in 1987, killing hundreds in Taiwan."

- Conan O'Brian, commencement speech to Harvard

"Many of you are justifiably nervous about leaving the safe, comfortable world of Harvard Yard and hurling yourself headlong into the cold, harsh world of Harvard Grad School, a plum job at your father's firm, or a year abroad with a gold Amex card and then a plum job in your father's firm."

- Conan O'Brain, commencement speech to Harvard
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(no subject) [Mar. 20th, 2007|03:05 pm]
HAUTE QUOTE
ex_aj492
"...How would you go about your day and act like everything is all normal when you know for sure that there’s a giant magical bunny running around the world once a year sneaking into your house and hiding eggs and shit everywhere?"

- Joe Rogan, on the Easter Bunny
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I Live in the Twentieth Century [Mar. 18th, 2007|02:47 pm]
HAUTE QUOTE
ex_aj492
I live in the Twentieth Century
and you lie here beside me. You
were unhappy when you fell asleep.
There was nothing I could do about
it. I felt hopeless. Your face
is so beautiful that I cannot stop
to describe it, and there's nothing
I can do to make you happy while
you sleep.

- Richard Brautigan
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(no subject) [Mar. 18th, 2007|02:26 pm]
HAUTE QUOTE
ex_aj492
"Dianna Ross Be Coming Out Your Ass"

- Geto Boys, "Size Ain't Shit", the single most confusing gangsta rap song ever written.
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(no subject) [Mar. 15th, 2007|07:06 pm]
HAUTE QUOTE
ex_aj492
"I hate gay people."
- Tim Hardaway, NBA player


"One day, when you least expect it, I will have sex with you!"
- George Takei, in response to Tim Hardaway


http://youtube.com/watch?v=-me8KUtXIWo&mode=related&search=
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(no subject) [Mar. 14th, 2007|03:09 pm]
HAUTE QUOTE
ex_aj492
“How perfectly goddamned delightful it all is, to be sure.”

- Charles Crumb, on life.

(You should see the movie "Crumb". It's about Robert Crumb, the artist, but his brother Charles steals the show.)
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Simpsons so Super... [Mar. 14th, 2007|12:43 am]
HAUTE QUOTE
iriswills
Marge: Dr Marvin Monroe! I haven't seen you in years!
Dr Monroe: Oh! I've been very sick.

- From Diatribe of a Mad Housewife (a recent-ish episode)

*****

That is probably the most classic explanation of a character's disappearance ever in the history of any show. If the Simpsons writers get any more clever I'm going to puke.

Another example of cleverness...In the tennis court episode when the "surveillance" van guys are coming up with witty remarks for Kent Brockman ("I guess you could say, I'm Iraqi"), Arco took note of the fact that one of the secret van guys had to wait for the writer to finish typing the witty remark on paper before relaying the information to Kent...

If that doesn't make you laugh...
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